Worn Out: When Caregiving, Burnout and Compassion Fatigue Collide—a virtual seminar presented by Steph Hubach

On Monday, April 3, Steph Hubach presented “Worn Out: When Caregiving, Burnout and Compassion Fatigue Collide” as a virtual seminar.  Speaking as a parent who has raised one son, Tim (now age 31) who has down syndrome as well as being a professional who is currently serving as a Research Fellow in Disability Ministries and as a Visiting Instructor on Educational Ministries with Covenant Theological Seminary, Steph shared pertinent information that many caregivers experience on their never-ending journey of attending to loved ones’ and their sometimes, challenging needs. 

Defining the terms burnout and compassion fatigue is important before one tries to manage it as it gives it a context in which to begin the work. Burnout is a state of emotional, physical and mental exhaustion caused by excessive and prolonged stress.  Compassion fatigue is a unique form of burnout that affects individuals in caregiving roles. Burnout is occupation related (role-related within a system—in this case, the family system) and takes place over a long period of time.  The take- away from burnout is “You are human and finite. You can’t do everything”. Compassion fatigue occurs within a relationship-related and it corresponds to the intensity of suffering experienced by the person being cared for.  The take- away from compassion fatigue is “You are human and finite. You can’t absorb endless amounts of pain”.

Signs of burnout are the following:  fatigue, anger, frustration, negative reactions, cynicism, withdrawal. Signs of compassion fatigue are the following:  sadness, grief, avoidance, despair, reduced empathy, somatic complaints, addiction, nightmares, detachment and frequent sick days.

Steph shared her own experience, which was moving and quite emotional.  From that journey, she created 5 take away questions:

• How am I wired at the core of my temperament –my qualities?
• How am I experiencing my strengths and weaknesses?
• Have I embraced my finiteness? (“I am not a superwoman”)
• Where am I experiencing frustration in my life?
• What is my fuel source?

Answering these questions helped Steph to begin leaving that dark place and moving slowly to a healthier state of mind. 

Steph then shared with the group some tips for building resiliency.  The key term was “self-care”. In caring for yourself (as the caregiver), you are setting aside time to rest, recharge and re-energize. You are also taking the time to realize what is realistic to address and what is not possible.

Steph posed the following questions to the group, suggesting that they ask themselves the following:

• How do I perceive my role –as a burden or as a calling?
• Who am I –refers to how am I wired?
• How do I manage feelings?
• How isolated am I? Are my friends true allies and confidantes?
• How do I keep on learning (and not just about the world of disabilities)?
• What recharges my battery, physically?
• How do I come to terms with my limits?

Take aways:

• Process the grief that you might experience between the initial picture you had in mind when you first found out that you were pregnant –the picture in your head of raising a child, having the child graduate from high school and going through all of the life milestones, vs. realizing your child has a disability—different picture that you can embrace but first have to grieve the loss of that initial picture.  Take the time to acknowledge this without feeling ashamed or guilt ridden.
• Have I embraced my finiteness? I can’t do all things and be all things…. I have my limits, like everyone else. I am to embrace them and acknowledge them –and be more realistic about my abilities and capabilities. 
• Have I figured out what fuels me? Am I able to turn to those things or include those things more often?
• Self-care is different for each person –start with taking a few minutes and saying to yourself or out loud, I am taking care of myself by…. (The acknowledgement of this action is a healthy first step.)

Steph stressed the importance of taking baby steps as you begin to implement some self-care to your daily routine. It doesn’t have to be a huge undertaking of resources and time but just a small step, creating that self-care space. 

Books that she recommended:

• Hope for the Caregiver by Peter Rosenberger
• Parenting and Disabilities: Abiding in God’s Presence by Stephanie Hubach
• Atomic Habits by James Clear
• Resilient Ministry: What Pastors Told Us about Surviving and Thriving by Burns Chapman and Guthrie

Steph’s website is: www.stephaniehubach.com.